Silver: Depth & Precision
by Ennui Acedia
Summary: Hijikata lost his memories of his lover, Gintoki, and everyone that is connected to him in any way, excluding Hijikata's coworkers. Now that the man has shown up, Hijikata is bombarded by memories that both shock and dumbfound him. Why did he lose his memory, and what exactly is his relationship with Sakata Gintoki? AU
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Hijikata lost his memories of his lover, Gintoki, and everyone that is connected to him in any way, excluding Hijikata's coworkers. Now that the man has shown up, Hijikata is bombarded by memories that both shock and dumbfound him. Why did he lose his memory, and what exactly is his relationship with Sakata Gintoki?

Warnings: Yaoi, Language, some OOCness, AU, and poor Hijikata losing his memories of Gin-chan, crappy depictions of a Kendo Master.

Pairings: GinHiji, Sougo x Kondou, Shinpachi x Kagura, TakaZura, etc.

**A/N: Ohayo! My first Gintama AU fic, so if it's all just crap, tell me, please. Each chapter I'll be posting lyrics to a song. I really hope you enjoy! Also, I apologize for any grammar problems, spelling errors, etc etc. **

**Enjoy! ^^**

* * *

**One**

* * *

_"Ever since the day you left_

_My fate's been set unknown_

_How many years_

_To walk this path alone?"_

_-Save Me_

_Avenged Sevenfold_

* * *

The sword was brought down, blood coming off the blade with ease. An unknown ronin sheathed the sword as a smirk played on his lips.

He reached into his suit. As he searched for his cell phone, he let out a low grumble once he found that his phone was MIA.

He really wanted to get through with his job as soon as possible, and it wasn't going to happen when he didn't have his damn phone. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, trying to decide if he should just not bother with a clean up crew and leave, or head to his vehicle and use his extra cell hidden in the glove compartment.

After much contemplation, he chose the latter and stormed off towards his waiting Infiniti M. He shifted his stance once he stopped, his hand reaching into his suit's pockets, grinning once he'd grabbed them.

The ronin unlocked the doors and threw the passenger's door ajar. He leaned in to yank open the glove compartment, his grin still plastered on his face once he found what he was looking for.

He held the crappy phone firmly as he switched it on. Finally, after the unneeded title screen left him with the home screen, he went to contacts, revealing every number he would need to know in case of an emergency.

Clicking his tongue once again, he dialed the cleaners' number, and held the phone to his ear. He waited a few moments as the line rang, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips once he heard the knowing voice of a woman.

"Yeah, I need your services once again. Come to ***** ******. I won't be here, but you know what to do," he grumbled, and then hung up the phone. A silvery white lock of hair fell into his face and he brushed it away.

He walked around to the other side of the car, after slamming the passenger's door shut, and opened the door easily, sliding into his comfortable seat. And he started the car, and drove away off into the night.

* * *

Leaning back against a dirty wall, Hijikata Toushirou took a deep, long drag of a cigarette, the nicotine sinking into him as he did. He stared up at the cloudless sky as the smoke left his slightly open mouth.

He shut his eyes for only a few seconds, taking deep breaths, and as he opened them, he found himself face-to-face with wine colored eyes and white, curly hair which stuck up in a few places. He blinked once, then twice. He rubbed his eyes, shock unfurling within his body.

"...what?" His voice shook. The shock was replaced by fury suddenly as a scoff of mockery was sent his way by the stranger. He set his eyes into a glare, his voice finally firm as he said, "Who the fuck're you!? Sonofabicth, why're you watching me!?"

The cigarette fell from his fingers without notice when he grabbed ahold of the stranger's dark suit. Hijikata glared defiantly at the man, his eyes narrowing as the permy bastard didn't seem to give a shit.

Said bastard reached towards Hijikata's fingers and removed them from the front of his suit. He let out an annoyed sigh, and then smirked.

"Does it really matter? You'll find out soon enough, anyways. Especially if you're going to sit in on my lecture," the stranger stated, his voice sultry and smooth, with a few hints of roughness around the edges.

Hijikata felt rage burn in his throat, words that were quite vulgar on the tip of his tongue, but he held back, deciding not to piss the guy off, just in case he was a serial killer or maybe a rapist. The latter was highly unlikely, but the former was a possibility.

"Sit in on your lecture? T'ch, as if. I'm not a student here, I don't have the time. I have classes to teach," he said, then looked at his watch. "Which, by the way, I must get to now." He lifted his face up as if to show a haughty exterior, and walked off, his head still raised high.

The stranger just laughed. "You never know, Oogushi-kun, you never know."

* * *

Drumming his fingers on his desk, Hijikata stared out at the empty class. All the students were late and it was actually quite eerie not having even a couple of students in the same class with him. There always seemed to be at least one female student staying back after class to talk him up and try, consequently, to get him to take her somewhere, mainly his bed.

He always rejected them, even when he was sexually frustrated. He didn't give a shit if they were college students, adult, or not. He would not prey on a student. It was against his principles.

Yawning, he stood up from his desk, annoyance buzzing around in his brain. He left his classroom and walked down the empty hallway. He looked around, trying to discern where a class of students would have gone.

He took notice of two students milling around one particular spot, and headed over there to ask what the fuck was going on.

The students seemed surprised when he'd asked the question, giving him a look that made him feel utterly dense. He shifted from foot to foot as they seemed to mull over their words, when they finally decided to tell him what was happening. The female student spoke first.

"Hijikata-sensei, sir, there's a lecture being given by Sakata Gintoki, the world famous kendo instructor," she stated, her eyes lowered from meeting the glare that Hijikata sent her way.

There was an awkward silence that surrounded the three, and, after what seemed like hours, the male student decided it was his turn to speak. "Ah, sensei, would you like to go in and listen to Sakata-san speak? I mean, since you're a professor here and all, you can go in without anyone noticing. You...don't have to pay, unlike us students," he said, his eyes also lowered from meeting Hijikata's hard stare.

Hijikata sighed and patted both of their heads, deciding to let them off easy without yelling or cursing at them, and walked through the double doors leading to a mini auditorium. He padded towards the wall where multiple other professors and assistants stood.

He nodded at both Kondou and Okita, not bothering to acknowledge the annoyance of a person, Yamazaki. He didn't even like Okita, but since Kondou was all for them getting along as professors he had to be at least sociable to the sadist.

He didn't recognize the few other professors and assistants, so he felt that he didn't owe them a friendly nod or anything close to that. He leaned back against the wall, watching silently as he watched someone walk out onto the stage.

Hijikata recognized the white, curly hair and the obnoxious, red, dead fish eyes. He nearly scoffed at the fact that the bastard was the so-called famous kendo master and sensei. God, what a joke. The guy looked as if he couldn't hold a sword correctly, let alone teach students how to use one.

And then the deep, sultry voice that had pissed off Hijikata earlier started speaking.

"To be a samurai, you should feel the sword beneath your fingertips just as much as it piercing your heart. Both can be linked to pain, and both can be linked to your soul. You bring forth pain just as much as you feel it; it's the same with your soul. One way in, living; one way out, death. Choose one." Gintoki's grin was malicious as he spoke those words, his eyes on Hijikata.

The latter gulped as those wine red eyes burned a hole into him. He quickly turned his head, breaking eye contact with the shit head.

"You must decide which one you prefer. Kendo isn't just about fighting with bamboo swords; kendo teaches it's students how to be precise, how to have depth when making contact with your opponent. It trains and trains until you are able to fight by being one with your sword," he stated, and then took a deep breath.

He then continued, "I, as a sensei, first teach my students how to hold and use their swords. They practice with bokken, which is the basics to kendo. But, once I feel that my students are ready to use a real sword, I have them choose new swords from my whole collection. Once they have chosen the sword that will stay with them until its demise, or even their death, I will train them into mastering and controlling their swords with perfection."

* * *

Once he stopped speaking, there was absolute silence. There was nothing, until somebody coughed. Then there was more silence, and finally somebody else stood up and started clapping.

Gintoki smirked at the crowd of students, relishing in the act of being in the midst of claps and cheers. His eyes went over the dozens of observers, and conclusively landed on a dark haired, blue eyed professor in the back.

His smirk grew as those pretty blue eyes scowled angrily his way. He easily broke the eye contact and made his way off the stage. He wasn't up to thanking the observers for their listening ability, so he just went back stage and took a seat.

* * *

Hijikata felt red eyes on him and he glared back, only to be met with a back as Sakata turned around and walked off the auditorium's stage. With an irked huff, he slipped out of the large room and headed to his own classroom to wait for the late students.

"-and that is how you cook an omelet, Tae. Remember, don't burn it when you try to make it for your younger brother, okay?" Hijikata kept his voice calm, making sure to keep his words kind and caring. He really did not want to piss off the woman Kondou was aiming for, evenif she was just a student.

It wouldn't do him any good to anyone if he ended up with a concussion, or diarrhea if she decided to shove her 'food' down his throat.

Smiling, Shimura Tae (Otae to many) nodded and bowed politely, her summer yukata making her seem pure and perfect. But, sadly, Hijikata knew what the woman could do, in the kitchen or not.

"Thank you, Hijikata-sensei. Thank you so much for giving me this extra lesson, alone," she murmured, a wry grin spreading across her face as she stared at her teacher. She faked a cute laugh and then left, leaving the poor raven-haired male to his own thoughts.

Hijikata clicked his tongue in contentment. If only Kondou had seen that display of affection from Tae, even if it wasn't anything of the romantic sort; the professor would surely have a mild seizure and nosebleed from the scene.

Shaking his head, Hijikata turned and started to clean up the mess his student had made, making sure to dump the burnt disaster of an omelet into the trash can. He really didn't want to get sued or even fired if someone ate it by accident and either died or got horrid food poisoning.

One way or another, Hijikata would not get not anymore trouble with the college. He'd already nearly lost his job three times thanks so ignorant and idiotic students.

Once the job of clearing away the mess Tae had made by practicing her cooking, he left the Culinary Arts class' kitchen, not bothering to lock up, considering a janitor would come by later on and do that for him. He decisively headed towards his own classroom, which wasn't too far away.

As Hijikata's footsteps echoed in the empty halls, he took a sharp turn into a doorway leading to his moderately small classroom. He padded over to his desk and piled up his crap, shoving it to an open bag all the while having murmured, "Thank god I'm finally alone..."

He hummed a low tune as he did packed up all the papers and other not-so-important things, but stopped immediately once he noted another person in the room with him. He sighed.

"I guess I'm not alone after all, huh," he grumbled towards the lone figure standing by the window.

The previously unnoticed person left the comfort of the large window, and steadily made his way ver to Hijikata. A smirk played on his lips after seeing the recognition in the raven-haired male's eyes.

The shit-head kendo master reached out with one hand to stroke the side of Hijikata's face, a soft smile replacing the sinister smirk. Red eyes stared into blue, and blue eyes stared into red; neither backing down as they stared each other down.

Hijikata slapped Sakata's hand away, an angry glare gracing his handsome features, making his supposed bad boy looks turn into an even more dangerous guise.

Gintoki bit back a smile at the look he was given, finally deciding to speak up. "Oogushi-kun, no need to be hostile. I'm just here to have a small chat, if you will. Nothing more, nothing less..." He paused, collecting his thoughts, and then resumed. "...unless, of course, you want something more."

His eyes danced with amusement as Hijikata started to huff and puff, his cheeks being dusted with a pale red.

"You! You...! What the fuck is Oogushi-kun, anyways!? Why are you even calling me that, shit head?! I don't fucking know you; don't you dare assume that I would even allow you speak to me in any manner other than professional, bastard," he yelled, a dark aura surrounding him.

Sakata visibly deflated at those words, his bright red eyes dulling down into a deep, muddy wine color. Taking a deep breath, he decided to ask a question that had been on his mind for quite some time.

"You...you don't remember me? At all?" Gintoki's words were laced with pain and sorrow, his eyes lowered so he wouldn't, as if he could, meet Hijikata's eyes; his Oogushi-kun's eyes.

"Of course I don't," Hijikata stated flippantly. "As far as know, today was the first day I have ever laid eyes on you, let alone spoke to you."

He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. "I really do apologize if somehow you've spoken to me without my knowledge, but truthfully I have no memories of you." He kept his tone of voice harsh, not allowing any but of softness to squeeze in.

Sakata only nodded. He tried to keep himself from shaking with grief, and before the barriers of sorrow broke through his invisible dam of emotions, an unexpected person entered the room, making a sound from the back of her throat.

"Ne, Gin-chan, hurry up. I want my dinner soon!" Kagura's voice was loud and so unladylike, it actually grated along Sakata's nerves, which was a first. He never, ever got annoyed with her, or even Shinpachi for that matter. But, at the moment, he seriously was not in the mood to deal with the pubescent fourteen-year-old girl.

"Kagura, I'll be there in just a moment. Tell Shinpachi that it won't take long," he told her flatly, deciding early on not to face her, since it would only cause him even more vexation.

Gintoki heard her clap her hands together and then run off, her footsteps trailing off the farther she ran down the hall, until he couldn't hear her anymore. Letting long held breath, he turned his attention back to Hijikata, who had his eyebrow quirked up in an adorable way, making Gintoki want to hug him.

Hijikata blinked a few times, the scene replaying over and over in his head. That girl...she was young, younger than most university students, anyways. Was this silver-haired bastard a pedophile or something?

Before he could stop himself, he asked, "Oi, perm head, you a damn lolicon?"

The look on Sakata's face was priceless; it nearly made Hijikata roll on the floor laughing, which would have been a first.

Gintoki's mouth opened and closed like a fish, his eyes bugging out and blinking rapidly. He lifted a hand, his index finger up as if he was about to make a point, but he reluctantly lowered it.

"...I...what? Lolicon? Where'd you get that idea? And are you a fuckin idiot?" He kept his voice firm and questioning as he stared at the now open mouthed individual in front of him.

Hijikata just stammered, "I-uh, it's just...t-that girl...she was y-young, so I just f...figured that, well, y-you know..."

A smirk played on Gin's lips as he 'tsked, tsked'. "Don't assume anything about me, Oogushi-kun. I know much more about you, and you know just about everything about me. You just have to remember."

With that said, Gintoki turned and left Hijikata alone in his classroom, looking awestruck but also sick to his stomach.

"What the hell? Remember _**what**_?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello once again! :D Second chapter has arrived!**

**This chapter goes more into depth about Hijikata's life outside of his job from the university. Both Kondou and Sougo make a big appearance! I'll try to get to their romance soon enough! Sadly, other characters/pairings that aren't GinHiji & OkiKon, besides Sayaka, have yet to make an appearance.**

**I'll quickly apologize before hand about any mistakes that I have made, but, knowing me, I probably have made a shit ton.**

**I hope you'll enjoy!**

Chapter Rating: **PG-13** (for language, pretty much)

* * *

**Two**

* * *

_"Chances thrown_

_Nothing's free_

_Longing for what used to be_

_Still it's hard_

_Hard to see_

_Fragile lives, shattered dreams"_

_-The Kids Aren't Alright_

_The Offspring_

* * *

Hijikata shifted his bag on his shoulder, yawning tiredly as he walked down the sidewalk. The wind blew, messing up his perfectly sculpted bad-boy hairstyle. He hissed in frustration, vowing to fix his hair before he left his house later that night.

With graceful ease (and one hand), he grabbed his lighter and cigarette pack from his pocket, lifted a cancer stick, placed it in his mouth, put the pack back in his pocket, decisively lighting it up, and taking a deep drag from it. He exhaled the smoke, smiling to himself as he put the lighter back in his pocket.

Other than meeting that weird Kendo Master, Sakata, his day hasn't been too bad. Before the perm head had even talked to him, Hijikata had discussed plans for a group date with his colleague, and past mentor, Kondou Isao.

Even though Kondou had his interests in Shimura Tae, he'd still go out on dates with women his boss, Matsudaira Katakuriko, had set up for him. This time, though, he'd invited Hijikata along so that he'd have someone other than a gorilla-like woman to talk to.

The raven-haired male wasn't positive if he'd actually have a date this time around (he'd been on multiple dates with Kondou and a stranger without having his own partner for the night), but he didn't particularly care. As long as he was out with Kondou, he could easily brag to Okita Sougo, a man who was infatuated with Isao, just to piss him off.

Grinning, Hijikata hopped the steps of his apartment complex two at a time. Once he reached the correct floor, number 3 to be exact, he padded over to his apartment–number 27– unlocking the door swiftly, and then opening the door.

Entering the small corridor that led to the living/dining room, he set his bag by the door, inhaling deeply from his cigarette, the cherry so close to the filter he could taste it. With a low sigh, Hijikata entered his living room, undoing his tie and tossing it over the back of his leather couch.

He moved towards his bedroom door, making his way into the dark, nearly barren room. He neared his closet door, opened it, and toed off his shoes, placing them neatly next to the nearly dozen other pairs of shoes.

He shrugged sensually out of his 'professor's sweater', as he called it, and hung it up in the closet, smoothing out the wrinkles with practiced ease. Now that he was shirtless, he hurried out of his bedroom and swiftly made his way to his kitchen.

His belly rumbled at the thought of having a small snack before the large dinner he knew Kondou would buy for both him and the mysterious woman. He placed two slices of bread into the toaster, and leaned against the counter as he waited.

Once the toast popped up, Hijikata quickly prepared his toast just the way he liked it; Nutella on one slice, with a couple of splotches of jelly, and peanut butter on the second slice, also with splotches of jelly. He smiled softly to himself as he ate both slice.

He was truly content at the moment; nothing could even tempt to piss him off.

* * *

Sakata Gintoki slammed his glass of wine on the hardwood counter. Sobs wracked his body each and every time he breathed.

He felt so much, too much, pain. He didn't understand WHY Hijikata didn't remember him, he didn't even understand why he didn't even remember the kids! Nothing made sense.

He'd only been gone for six months, and _BAM_, Hijikata had forgotten all about him!

"I n-never...shoulda l-left," he murmured softly to himself, tears brimming on the corners of his eyes. He unconsciously started to fiddle with a ring on his left hand ring finger.

A hand touched his shoulder lightly, and he looked up sadly at the man whom apathetically stared at him.

"...S-Souichiro-kun, what d-do ya w-want...?" He hissed, anger brewing underneath his sad emotional state.

"It's Sougo," Okita Sougo stated blandly and then just shrugged, taking a seat next to Gintoki, and quickly ordered himself a mug of beer. "Ne, Danna, you seem...upset. Did Hijikata-san reject you again?"

"Shit, no, Souichi– _Sougo_. He...he fuckin _forgot_ me, the sonofabitch," he growled out as he took a long drink from his wine.

The bartender brought the beer to Okita and set it in front of him. He grabbed it and drank half of it in a gulp. He wiped the foam off of his upper lip.

"T'ch, at least you got to be with your love, even if for a short time. My love doesn't even know I have feelings for him, and he goes out with other women almost every day," Sougo grumbled, "Do you even know how that feels, hm, Danna? Your love is at least the same damn sexuality as you!"

Gintoki sighed, placing a reassuring hand on Sougo's back. "I know, Sougo, I know. Both of our situations hurt. Your love doesn't reciprocate your feelings, or even your sexuality, and mine doesn't even remember me."

"Love sucks, Danna," Okita deadpanned as he brought the mug of beer to his lips once more, downing it quickly. He waved the bartender to get him another.

Wine colored eyes went downcast, and he nodded his agreement. "Yeah...it really does."

They both sat there for a few moments, pondering the loves they both had. One sipped his drink, the other chugged his, until, finally, Sougo broke the silence.

"Ehhh, Danna, have...have you ever...once cheated on Hijikata-san?" He questioned with neither malice nor hate, it was just a question between friends.

"...no, no I have not." Gintoki finished his wine and ordered another glass, his eyes downcast.

"Are you telling the truth, Danna? Because it doesn't seem like you are. I mean, you've been out of Japan for six months. You must've had some type of fling while away," he mused, a wry smirk playing on his lips.

Gintoki huffed, "Of course not, damn it! Oogushi-kun is the only one for me, and that's that. Why would I throw away the best relationship I've ever had just for a one night fling, hm?"

Pondering the question solemnly, Okita drank some more of his beer. "I guess that's true, but still. You haven't had sex for six months? That's hard to believe, especially with your past."

"Shut it, Sougo. I know it's hard to believe, but I love my Toushirou dearly, and I sincerely hope he won't be playing the field, even if he doesn't remember our relationship," he stated, reaching for the refilled wine glass. He took a long, leisure sip from it.

"Pft, Danna, Hijikata-san is on a _date_ tonight; he's been playing the field with Kondou for the past few weeks, although I'm pretty sure he hasn't been getting laid." Sougo smirked at Sakata, who had stiffened up at those words.

"W-what? You...you mean...he's been...dating...?" Gintoki gulped, his body nearly shaking, fresh sobs brewing up in his chest.

"Of course. Since it must be true that he doesn't remember you, why wouldn't he date? He's handsome enough to do so, so why not," Okita jeered as he ran a hand through his silky, brown hair.

"B-but...!"

"Ah ah ah, no buts, Danna."

Gintoki stood up from the bar, paid his bill, and stormed out without saying a goodbye. As he left, he heard Okita laughing mockingly behind him.

* * *

Hijikata stiffened when a muscled arm belonging to his ex-mentor wrapped around his waist, Kondou laughing a bit too loudly as he spoke to his current date. The poor woman winced when some spittle landed on her cheek, wiping it away slowly, her sweet, kind gaze turning into an annoyed glower.

He chuckled to himself at the look the nameless woman sent Kondou, who was so oblivious it was sad, a death glare from hell. He lifted his glass of cheap champagne and took a small sip, grimacing at the taste. God, how he hated champagne, but he only ordered it so that Kondou would be happy, since he also ordered the disgusting drink.

Crossing his legs under the table, he turned his attention to the patrons surrounding their little, fancy table. Being in a classy restaurant was NOT Hijikata's forte, but, considering this was just a third-wheel type date, it didn't seem to matter what he wanted or not. He was, let's just say, the wing-man for Isao's blind dates.

It wasn't that he was being _forced_ to accompany the older, gorilla-like man; it was just that he was asked politely, and he was also getting extra on his paycheck, which was a pretty good deal, since all he had to do was make sure Kondou didn't embarrass himself.

But, even with a rather handsome and well-maintained male such as himself, Hijikata could never seem to stop the gorilla before he started pissing or scaring his dates off. Sighing, he rubbed his temples with his forefingers, a feeling of having forgot something niggling at his brain.

He had a urge to just say 'fuck this' and storm out; it would've made more sense to do that, instead of just sitting there watching the older man make a shit-face of himself. Though, it _was_ pretty funny, considering the woman's pretty face was contorting into one of severe rage, making her seem unglued, in fact.

"I really _should_ help this fucker out, shouldn't I," he murmured to himself. He cracked his knuckles, put on a calm-cool-and-collected facade, and then smushed his hand over Kondou's mouth. "Shut it, Kondou-san. You're embarrassing yourself. _**Again**_."

The gorilla nodded.

"Now, my lady, I never caught your name," he said to the now bewildered-looking woman. She blinked her eyes multiple times, as if his words were the most confusing things in the world to understand.

Her mouth opened and closed, like a fish, and, finally, she spoke. "I– I'm Otakai Sayaka..." She pushed up her glasses with her forefinger.

Wait, since when was this woman wearing glasses? Damn, Hijikata needed to start paying more attention to these women Kondou tried to fu– _date_.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Otakai-san," he replied in a gruff voice, well, his usual-everyday voice.

He felt Kondou lick the palm of his hand, so he smushed his hand even harder against the annoying man's mouth. He sent the brunette a harsh glare when he felt the tip of a tongue press against his hand, again. "Don't."

Sayaka coughed slightly, her face turning slightly red. She was looking over Hijikata's shoulder. He stopped paying attention to his coworker, and shifted around so that he could see what the glasses-wearing woman was looking at.

His mouth gaped open at the sight of his younger coworker, Okita Sougo, standing there, a chastising grin set upon his lips. He was staring right at Hijikata's table. Kondou, who had also turned to look, gulped loudly. The black-haired male removed his hand from the brunette's mouth.

"Shit," Isao muttered under his breath.

Toushirou raised a brow at his friend. "What's the matter, Kondou-san?"

Said man scratched the back of his head. "Ehehe, weeeelllll, it turns out that Sayaka-chan and Sougo have a bit of a past together, soooooo...I might be getting my ass kicked soon..."

Laughing, Hijikata covered his mouth, stifling the words that would both offend and surprise his buddy.

It was a well-known fact at the university that Okita Sougo was after Kondou; in more ways than one. It was also well-know that Sougo slept around so that he didn't accidentally go over board when he was hitting on his much older crush when ever he was piss-ass drunk.

The only person that had no idea about his little man-crush on Kondou was the man himself. It was pretty sad. He had a perfectly good man that would do whatever he said, when ever he said it, but, of course, the dumbass had no clue.

Trying to calm himself, Hijikata jeered, "Oh? A past 'relationship'? What kind, if I may ask, ne, Kondou-san?"

"Uh, the physical kind, if I'm correct..."

"And what do you think of that, hm?" He grinned widely as he awaited the reply he expected.

"Eh. Ah, uhm, I doesn't really affect me...I guess...I don't care?"

"Was that a question or a statement? C'mon, give me more juicy details."

"Juicy details about _what_, exactly? I don't really give a flying shit one way or another. My boss set me up with Sayaka-chan, and Sougo is my little buddy. I don't plan on sleeping with her, unless she wants to," he replied with all seriousness in his voice.

Hijikata coughed. He didn't expect that type of answer. He actually expected Kondou to get flustered and stutter the whole way through his explanation. Damn, he really _did_ want juicy details, just so that he could rub it into Okita's face at the university.

"Oh," he said, then decided to add, "Wait, do you actually think they're together?"

Sayaka turned her attention from Sougo, who was making his way over, to Hijikata. "What do you mean by that, huh!? Me an' Okita-kun have something special!"

"We do? Since when?" Sougo piped in as he slid into a chair next to his raven-haired coworker. Hijikata scowled slightly at the feeling of closeness he got from the sadistic assistant professor.

It didn't seem to really matter at Tokyo University when they hired an assistant professor, even if the person was fresh out of high school. As long as they were credible, and had recommendations from at least three other professors, they were almost immediately hired.

A simple fact about Hijikata was that he was accepted as a full-time professor, instead of an assistant, when he'd just turned twenty four. Now he was twenty six and enjoying his job to the fullest, well, until he had to deal with his fans that chased after him like he was fresh meat for them to pick at.

The young woman huffed, her lips pouting ever-so-slightly. It was actually creepy, to Hijikata, anyway.

All the men at the table awaited her reply to Sougo's words. She chewed on her lower lip as she seemed to think her words over carefully. Finally, she looked as if she had her 'aha!' moment.

"Since we made _love_, duh!" She grinned cockily, as if her answer was the most influential and intellectual answer in the whole goddamn world.

Hijikata covered both Kondou's and his mouth, to keep from breaking the hilarious tension surrounding Sayaka and Sougo. It was absolutely _priceless_, especially since Okita had the look of utter and compete horror on his face.

"Where the hell did ya get the idea that we 'made love'?! That's bullshit. I don't even remember your fucking name, let alone the night I fucked you raw! I've probably been with tons of women since that night, so don't get any funny ideas about making love and shit like that."

Sayaka blinked a couple of times, and then tears welled up in her eyes. She wiped them, stood, and stumbled away. Hijikata could hear her sobs as she left the restaurant. "Damn, Sougo, ya don't have to be so harsh. She just assumed th–"

"Shut it, Hijikata-san. I'm here for Kondou-san, not you. If you don't mind, leave us so I can talk to him," Sougo replied, his normally brown eyes shining with anger and sadness.

Hijikata understood, so he just nodded and left, without so much as a goodbye to either Kondou or Okita.

* * *

Rain poured down, causing Gintoki's normally fluffy and permy silver hair to become slicked to his face. He was leaning against an alley wall, waiting for the moment when he'd see his lover come along home, with or without a woman, or man, hanging off of his arm.

Gin seriously hoped that that scenario wouldn't happen, but who knew how long Hijikata had been without his memories of Gintoki, and who knew how many offers the handsome man would get. If he didn't scowl so damn much.

Earlier that day, when he saw his lover smoking outside the university, he wanted to just jump the man and hug him to no end. But, when he greeted him, Hijikata seemed to have no recollection whatsoever of Gintoki or his closest friends, namely Kagura.

He guessed that Hijikata had gone through selective amnesia sometime during the six month time span that he was gone. Hopefully, if Gintoki was around his lover often enough, he'd help get those memories back, and maybe make new ones.

Gintoki grinned when he saw a lonesome figure walking through the rain with an umbrella with mayonnaise bottles designed on it. Oh, how much his Oogushi-kun never changed.

He stopped out of the alley way. "Hello, Oogushi-kun! Pleasure to see you here at this time of night."

Oh god, he sounded creepy. Was he being creepy? He probably was. Shit.

* * *

**A/N: I guess this is where I'll post my replies to those lovely reviews you guys write! ^^**

_Doodo_: The reason why Hijikata forgot Gin-chan will be explained soon enough, hopefully I can explain it well.

And the reason why Gin-chan had no idea, well, he was gone for six months, and couldn't have any contact with his lover, so the memory loss happened sometime in that timespan.

I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reviewing! :)

_karunebulous_: Thank you! :3 And yes, any Gintama story I write will have an ShinKagu ship, although it won't be graphic or anything. Just the normal lovey-dovey teenage type. XD I'm not that into the whole OkiKagu ship, so ShinKagu happened. X3

_Guest_: Done! :D ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello! Surely an early update for once! Aw yesss.**

**This is basically the starting point for whole shit ton of plot bunnies and more. The previous two were just setting the stage.**

**I'll apologize in advance for any or all grammatical or spelling errors. I know I've repeated quite a few words, so sorry for that also.**

**I hope you enjoy! **

Chapter Rating: **R** (for the ending)

* * *

**Three**

* * *

_"I am a lion and I want to be free_

_Do you see a lion when you look inside of me?_

_Outside the window just to watch you as you sleep_

_Cause I am a lion born from things you cannot be"_

_-Lion_

_Hollywood Undead_

* * *

As the rain poured down outside, Hijikata and Gintoki sat silently in the former's apartment. The silver-haired male had acted as if he'd never been inside the place before, which, somehow, actually worked.

He inwardly shuddered at the thought of having to see those drabby, leopard print drapes once again if Hijikata ever invited him not his spacious and clean as fuck room. But, it would be worth it, especially if his Toshi would be naked and spread out on the bed, ready to receive everything Gin had been saving up.

Ah, he couldn't wait.

Licking his lower lip, he stared down into the warm teacup in his hand. At least Hijikata hadn't lost his politeness, although Gintoki wasn't exactly used to being on the receiving end of the actual politeness. Usually, if he ever stopped by for anything other than a fuck, he'd be smacked upside the head and forced to wash dishes or something just as meager.

Their relationship had originally been based off of just a quick fuck here and there, but it'd somehow become much, much more. After so long, they'd sat down and discussed where their relationship was going.

As it had tuned out, they both wanted something more than just the physical aspects of their relationship, although they both equally enjoyed _that_ part also.

Gintoki, actually, sort of missed the old days, before feelings got in the way. But, when the time came for both of them to confess their feelings for the other, it had been the best night of their lives. Or so Hijikata told him. Maybe, just maybe, the darker haired male had been lying.

He sure as hell hoped that wasn't the case.

"So...Sakata-san...what is it that you need? And so late at night?" The professor's voice wavered slightly, his face tingling slightly as Gintoki leered away at him.

"Mm...I just wanted to discuss something important with you," replied the kendo master, his lips turning upwards.

"Ah...well...discuss away, I guess..." Hijikata rubbed the back of his neck, the awkwardness oozing off the man.

For some peculiar reason, Hijikata wasn't as vulgar and loud-mouthed as usual. It sort of irked Gintoki. He wasn't used to this type of Oogushi-kun.

Well, I guess that's what happens when you lose the memory of your lover and rival.

"Oogushi-kun, do you recollect anything that has happened in the last six months that has seemed...out of the ordinary? As if some things just don't click, like two puzzle pieces that don't go together, although they're the only pieces left?"

Ugh, that comparison! He mentally slapped himself.

"Uh, I'm sorry Sakata-san, I have no idea what you mean by that. Everything is in place and normal," replied Hijikata, his dark brows having risen up in suspicion.

Crap, he sounded so fucking shady. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Gintoki shut his eyes and leaned his head back as he thought of an offhanded remark to change the subject. Maybe if he changed the direction of the conversation into something more normal, then Hijikata would trust him enough to speak his mind about his suspicions.

He laughed abrasively, causing Hijikata to jump slightly in shock. "Ahahaha, I was KIDDING! I'm not serous! Of course nothing has happened!" Grinning, he clapped his hands together, making a racket that seemed to rake along the darker haired male's nerves.

"...you! What the fuck!? You barge into my home, practically _force_ me to make you tea, question me about the past six months, and then _**laugh it all**_ _**off!? What**_ **_the hell is_** _**fucking wrong with **__**you?!**_"

Gintoki jeered, "I didn't _force_ you to make me tea. You did it on your own." His grin nearly slipped off of his face when he took a serious tone. "Are you in a serious relationship at the moment, Oogushi-kun?"

Said man cocked his head to the side quizzically, his lips twitching upwards into a sadistic smirk. "Sorry, Sakata-san, but I am most definitely not interested in anything you have to offer."

"Oh? And what do you think I was about to offer? It was just a common question for anybody to ask. Don't get your hopes up." Gintoki's voice was cold, but also soft. He wanted to piss off Hijikata, and then confuse the man, making him slowly succumb to his words.

It was the easiest way to get any person into his bed; it was a trick he'd learned long before he ever met his lover, the love of his life. He had felt sort of guilty when he'd learnt of Hijikata's past relationships (there weren't very many; also, he'd mentioned that he never once had fucked them), and the fact that he'd had much more experience than the older man. Or so he'd thought. It had turned out that they were equal when it came to sex, both of them not giving up, even in the bedroom. They were rivals through-and-through. It made Gintoki's inner self preen; he'd found his equal. And his love had forgotten him, which hurt on too many levels. He wanted to cry over it.

"I– uh...I...I'm...shit...wait, are you okay?" Hijikata waved his hand in front of Gin's face, confusion and empathy filling those deep blue eyes. "You look like you're about to cry..."

"...'m fine. Don't bother with me. J'st rem'mberin things..."

"You sound drunk...the fuck is up with you and your weird ass mood swings?" Hijikata griped, arms crossing as he glared at Gintoki.

"Ah...my Oogushi-kun is coming back!" Gin happily tried to hug the other man, but was kicked away.

"Don't you fucking dare touch me, bastard. I've had enough with you and your queer ways. Get outta my house!" He stomped over to the door with Gintoki in tow, opened it, and tossed the perm-headed male out, slamming the door shut loudly in his face.

"I really could've done that better," muttered Gintoki as he threw his hands up in exasperation. "Ah, oh well, I still have time until my next long-time mission."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked off into the pouring rain, leaving behind the only love of his life.

* * *

Hijikata clapped his hands together, a bright, fake smile plastered on his face. At the moment, he was _trying_ to get his students to listen to his lesson, but they just continued on being little shit-heads. Oh god, how he hated the students he had to teach.

He was an economics professor, not his favorite job, but it was also not his least, either. At times he'd take the class to the Culinary Arts classroom to teach them the basics on kitchen skills and such, or even private tutoring sessions in cooking, like he did with Shimura Tae.

The bell rang loudly, signaling to the students that they could rush out and try to shove by their poor teacher. Which, of course, they did. And, without so much as a hello, he was hugged from behind by one of those bastards.

He huffed, making it known they he was not pleased. The unknown person quickly unattached themselves from their teacher. He turned, expecting to see a random face, he found himself staring into the huge, brown eyes of Otae.

He inwardly seethed. Could his day get any worse?

"Hi, Sensei! I've come by to get some more...help with my cooking!" She smiled, although her eyes were harsh, telling him that if he rejected her, he'd most likely get a foot implanted up his ass.

He grimaced, and then reluctantly nodded. "Of course, Tae. When would you like to receive my help?"

"Now!" And With that reply, she grabbed his hand in a vice-like grip, and dragged him out of his classroom. He stumbled along the way, nearly running into multiple students along the way.

She led him down the hallways, past tons of students, and varying types of teachers. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted an angry-looking Sougo and a pretentious Kondou as he spoke to hairy woman, whom Hijikata suspected was Bubbles-sensei.

He smirked. If only Kondou had seen him being dragged along by Otae in a hurry. Then the guy would go on a rampage, and most likely piss off poor Okita in the process.

Finally, after relentless dragging, Otae and Hijikata arrived at the Culinary Arts classroom. She pushed open the door, interrupting an ongoing class. The teacher raised his eyebrows at them in question, causing Hijikata to send him an apologizing look.

"Sorry," he mouthed silently.

The male professor nodded in understanding, his eyes sowing his sympathy.

The Shimura woman drug him to the back of the large classroom, stopping in front of an empty stove and counter. She let go of his hand, turning to him with a big, fat grin on her face.

"So, whatcha gonna teach me, Hijikata-sensei?"

* * *

Hijikata slammed open his front door, stomping into his home. He's shut the door with a '_bang_', tossing his shit for work on the floor, not bothering to even make it look neat. He stumbled down the hall, stepping into his ark bedroom. He didn't touch the light switch, since he was going to just go straight to sleep, anyway.

He plopped down on his bed, belly down, and ran a hand through his dark hair. He rolled over onto his back to stare at the ceiling.

As he stared, he felt loneliness creep into his system. He wanted a warm body next to him, and when he looked to the empty spot next to himself, his heart lurched. He'd always figured it was because he wasn't having sex, but now that he actually thought about it, he felt as if someone was missing from his life.

Someone important.

Someone who meant the world to him.

And he had no idea who that could be.

"Who are you...? And where are you...? Why don't I remember you...?" He murmured to himself, his hand lifting to the ceiling. He spread his fingers, staring at his left hand. Something was missing from his ring finger.

His eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness.

He'd never really payed any attention to that particular finger before, although now, he noticed a small indention on the bare finger. His eyes widened when he suddenly realized that a ring was missing. HIS ring. Most likely his WEDDING ring.

His hand fell to the bed, his face scrunching up in confusion. Why was he missing a wedding ring? And why the fuck was he married? Why had he never noticed it before!? Fuck!

He shut his eyes, his mind whirling as those thoughts continuously flitted through his mind. He fell into a disturbed sleep, dreams taking ahold of him.

* * *

Gintoki fiddled with a key in his hand, wine-colored eyes calculating as he stared intently at the apartment door in front of him. He had a severe urge to unlock and open the door, letting himself into a home that he knew so well.

It was common knowledge to all the other apartment renters that he would arrive here whenever he got back from his _job_. But, it seemed that Hijikata had no recollection, and none of the other renters questioned his ability of brushing off depressing topics, such as his lover leaving him for a seriously long period of time.

Gin guessed that, since Hijikata never spoke of him while he was gone, nobody asked about him.

He clenched his hand tightly around the key, feeling it as it probably left an indention in his palm. His hand shook as he carefully slipped the key into the lock, turned it, heard he click, and slowly opened the door. He paused to look in, surprised to find the whole apartment dark.

_Is Oogushi-kun not home? That's surprising..._

He pushed the door open wider, stepping in quietly. He shut the door behind himself. He ever-so-carefully made his way down the hall, tiptoeing when he had to, to avoid the squeaking of the floorboards.

If Hijikata _was_ home, then Gintoki didn't want to signal to him that he had an intruder, let alone a supposed stranger, in his home.

This was the only place that Hijikata actually felt content, and the perm-headed male knew it. His lover may have felt **_safe_** and _**loved**_ in Gintoki's arms, but Hijikata's home was the only real place that he seemed content with actually being.

To be truthful, in the beginning of their relationship, Gintoki had been spiteful and felt that thinking of a physical place as home was idiotic. He still didn't understand, he knew he'd always feel that a people you love was home, but he accepted the fact that Hijikata would never actually consider him as _**home**_. He was gone far too often for that type of commitment.

He'd always figured, while he was faraway, that Hijikata slept around, since he'd never confessed his love to Gintoki, all-the-while receiving confessions of undying love from the man. It hurt to think about; just the idea of _his_ love with another made him want to kill someone. But, he would allow it if it made _him_ happy. Anything for his love.

He clutched his chest, the area of his heart, and let out a quiet sob. He surely hoped that Hijikata wasn't sleeping around on him. He just wanted to know if his darker haired over took them home– this home– to his bed, _their_ bed.

"Shit...I shouldn't be thinking about that..." He quietly whispered to himself.

He stood at Hijikata's open bedroom door. He peeked in, smiling slightly at the still form of his perfect lover.

_I want to love you...I want you to love me...please..._

Resolutely, he stepped into the room, crawling onto the bed, laying next to Hijikata. He had the urge to stroke through that bristly, but soft, hair. He held himself back. Barely.

Gintoki shut his eyes, vowing to wake before the man even realized someone was gracing his bed next to him.

* * *

_Fingers brushed soothingly down the hard lines of his body, trailing from his pectoral muscles to his abdomen. He let out a small, guttural moan at the feeling._

_He wanted more._

_He tried to move closer to the being that was causing such brusque and soothing pleasure, but the hand touching him was strong, holding him away from its owner's figure. He whined, wanting a closeness that he didn't know he'd ever want. _

_He mouthed something akin to 'more', causing whomever was touching him to chuckle. "Impatient now, are we?" He recognized that voice. Whoever it was, he knew them._

_But, why were they in his dream? And why were they touching him so intimately._

_"You..who are you?" He whispered, his voice actually shaking. It was as if his body had been waiting for this touch. He didn't understand. "Why are you touching me?"_

_Another chuckle. "I'm someone you seem to have forgotten...and I'm touching you because I love you..."_

Wait. Hold the fuck up.

_"...you love me? What? I don't even know who you are, how the fuck could I have forgotten you? I don't even recognize your fucking voice!"_

_"Ah, still eloquent as ever, Oogushi-kun...it pains me to see that you truly HAVE forgotten me, even my voice. Even in your dreams..." Replied the voice._

_Oogushi-kun? Huh? _Huh_? _**Huh**_!?_

_"You–! Sakata-san?! W-w-w-why're you touching me!?" He tried to wiggle away, but his body wouldn't move to his own accord. His own body, it was betraying him._

_"As I said before...it's because I love you..."_

* * *

Hijikata awoke in a flash, his body trembling and his breathing hard. His eyes were open, and he was still staring at the ceiling. But, something was wrong.

As he sat up, he realized that he was covered in a warm blanket.

"...why...?"

He shook his head, rubbing his temples as he did so. He tried to remember his dream, to no avail, though.

"Shit...why do I feel as if I've forgotten something important...or someone..." He stared at his left hand as he murmured those words to himself.

He looked to the left, then the right. He lied back down, his arms spreading out from his sides. He gasped when his one of his hands came in contact with something warm.

That was odd. He rolled over and felt the bed where his hand had touched. It was warm, quite warm, in fact, as if someone had been lying there prior to Hijikata's awakening.

He nearly screeched, "What the fuckidy fuck!? Why is my fucking bed fucking warm with someone else's shitty warmth!? You gotta be fucking shitting me! FUCK!"

* * *

Ah, yes, so eloquently put. A figure grinned as he watched the rage scene playing out in front of him. The unknown figure tapped his fingers together, as if he was an old-fashioned Italian mobster or something. His hands moved down to the waistband of his pajama pants, reaching into the soft, cottony confinements that held his now aching dick. He squeezed it lightly as his eyes stalked the anger-induced form of a self-ranting Hijikata Toushirou.

"You are mine, Toushirou. All mine. I don't care what that self-loving bastard says. You are mine. Not his," he purrs to himself, tightening the grip on his cock.

He imagined warmth engulfing the head, and then slowly, slowly, more warmth taking the rest, his cock sliding down that perfect throat; deeper, deeper. Inch by inch, tongue working on the underside of his rigid cock, as a succulent throat works the head.

The figure shut his eyes, envisioning slightly calloused hands spreading his legs wide, fingers brushing against the base of his comic, and then his balls. More and more, lewd noises escaping that stretched mouth.

With a groan, the figure came, his imagination going wild as Hijikata swallowed everything he gave. The fantasy sent his body into a blissful state, his mind wandering as he thought about what else he could do to that beautiful raven haired man.

"Remember...you are all mine..."

* * *

**A/N: Ahhhh! Replying to a wonderful review! Weeeee! XD **

***covers face* I'm such a weird person... *whirls around in a twirly chair***

_karunebulous_: Hehe, it was actually quite fun to write! Their interactions are just haaalarious to write! ^^

Aw yush, I love a possessive Sougo! :3 And Gin-chan being abstinent will be fun. I'm only making him do it cause he just lurves his Oogushi-kun! 3

Ahaha, more to come for Hijikata and his memory loss. I have to do some more research on the mechanics of amnesia and such.

I must agree, I'd preferably see more ShinKagu, but nobody seems to write them. And it's the same with OkiKon, which just suuuucks. D:

Until next time! ^^


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